Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How the Brain Actively Removes Unwanted Memories - Neuroscience News

I see through liars

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Is there scientific evidence for reincarnation? If so, how does it work and can it be proven through regression therapy?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I actually pay taxes

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can read

How did Madri, mother of Nakula and Sahadeva die?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for fakery

What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup